Stupid Cupid: How NOT to date online

Sarah Dacey


Saturday 26 July & Sunday 27 July, 2014

Foyer Central Saint Martins




Everyone has their own dating horror stories. Online dating has seen an upsurge of users over the past few years. Whereas personalised ads used to be viewed as perhaps slightly sleazy and risky, creating an online profile– akin to one you would create on Facebook or Twitter – seems far more acceptable these days. That said, STUPID CUPID: HOW NOT TO DATE ONLINE is a skit that sets some of the bizarre messages my friends and I have received over the past few months, interspersed with a few comic gems from blogs about Tinder and Grindr. Ideally, I’d like to extend the piece at a later date to contain full dating horror stories… if anyone has any, I’d love to hear them!




Stupid Cupid

Music: Sarah Dacey

Mezzo-­‐sopranos: Kerry Andrew, CN Lester

Words: the users of Ok Cupid and Tinder

Tenor: Greg Tassell

Soprano: Sarah Dacey

Baritones: Cheyney Kent, James Oldfield


Sarah Dacey is a singer, lecturer and composer. Her online dating traumas include: a first date with a guy who was obviously high and had no money for a drink, and one with a guy who had a tights fetish; the latterasked her if she’d be up for wearing a pair over her head…


Kerry Andrew is a composer, singer and writer. She once went on an online date with someone who, it turned out, she had met when she was fourteen. Awkward! She is a big fan of online dating: one chap ended up being her husband. Seven years and counting…


CN Lester has: been on good dates, bad dates, “are these even dates?”, been invited to appear in porn (twice), had sonnets written to the back of their head by strangers, and married and divorced before the age of 25. They are confused by modern love.


Greg Tassell didn’t have a girlfriend until he was 20 years old. Once, he tried to ask out a girl in his year at school; she misunderstood the question and took him to see the school nurse. He also once asked out a Russian, but the response he received was simply that she wanted to be “GUD” friends!


Cheyney Kent studied at the Royal Academy of Music and King’s College London, where he held a choral scholarship. Recent credits include: extra chorus Benvenuto Cellini (ENO) and Montano Otello (Midsummer Opera). Future engagements include: Oedipus Rex (BBC Proms) and The Girl of the Golden West (ENO).


James Oldfield has been happily married for seven years. He began his professional life as a lion-­‐juggler in a mediocre circus, before he was sold to a male harem in Uzbekistan. There, he made many good friends and began his enduring interest in foot fetish portraiture of the 1920s and 30s.